There is only one passion which satisfies man’s need to unite himself with the world, and to acquire at the same time a sense of integrity and individuality, and this is love. Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one’s own self. It is an experience of sharing, of communion, which permits the full unfolding of one’s own inner activity. ― (1955a: The Sane Society, New York (Rinehart and Winston, Inc.) 1955, p. 31.)
Love is not primarily „caused“ by a specific object, but a lingering quality in a person which is only actualized by a certain „object.“ (…) Love is a passionate affirmation of an „object“; it is not an „affect“ but an active striving and inner relatedness, the aim of which is the happiness, growth, and freedom of its object. It is a readiness which, in principle, can turn to any person and object including ourselves. Exclusive love is a contradiction in itself. ― (1941a: Escape from Freedom, New York (Farrar and Rinehart) 1941, p. 114.)
The affirmation of one’s own life, happiness, growth, freedom, is rooted in one’s capacity to love, i.e., in care, respect, responsibility, and knowledge. If an individual is able to love productively, he loves himself too; if he can love only others, he cannot love at all. ― (1947a: Man for Himself. An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics, New York (Rinehart and Co.) 1947, p. 130.)
Infantile love follows the principle: „I love because I am loved.” Mature love follows the principle: „I am loved because I love.” Immature love says: „I love you because I need you.” Mature love says: „I need you because I love you.” ― (1956a: The Art of Loving. An Inquiry into the Nature of Love New York (Harper and Row) 1956, p. 37)